In summary: It sucks. (But there is light at the end of the tunnel.)
The first six weeks were the hardest (thus far), as we all adjusted to the change in family dynamics and the total lack of sleep. Poor Ren was hit the hardest. No longer the only child, no longer the sole focus of our attention, AND when we did have time we were too tired to do much of anything with him. That kid has watched more TV in the last two months than I have in the last three years, I swear.
In addition, Ren is 3 and, consequently, wanting to "assert" himself. Grrrrrr…… Not fun at any time and especially not when you're sleep deprived. However, we've hit two months and are all doing better. Ren seems to have made the adjustment - or else he's now more accustomed to not as much attention and/or we're actually able to give him more attention because we're not quite as tired. Whatever - it's better.
In general, I don't have too many good things to say about having children, plural. BUT, today I found a giant positive: I have little to no anxiety about doing stuff that would have pushed me over the mental edge when I had my first child. This is definitely more a function of experience than of multiple kids, but since I couldn't put the experience to use without having multiple kids, I'll take it either way! Today I took both boys to Happy Hollow (park/zoo) by myself, for four hours! And we had a good time!
Going anywhere with Ren always sent me into a panic attack, so I'm very grateful that I currently: a) am enjoying better mental/emotional health, and b) had the experiences I had with Ren, so I can be calm about similar experiences now. As someone who was on an emotional/mental knife edge the first year of my firstborn's life, let me tell you, the second time around is MUCH easier, as far as the anxiety/depression goes. (Halleluia! And, um, switching to a drug that I can take while nursing certainly helps, too.)
The moral of the story? While I'm not loving every moment of this crazy period of my life, I definitely do see some blessings and I'm very, very grateful for them.
