Joy in Unexpected Places

Robb and I feel very blessed that we truly enjoy each other's families. For Christmas we are in Utah with his mom and his sister (and her family), and we're having an awesome time visiting, playing (especially Ren, who adores his cousins), laughing, and generally making lots of good memories. 

We flew in (which, when you have a baby, no stroller - oops! - a husband with a severe back injury, and way too many carry on and personal items, is a story all on its own) and didn't rent a car. Not a big deal, since we're staying at Robb's sister's house and have done few things that require all five adults and five children to go somewhere at the same time. Tonight, however, we upheld the Thurmond family tradition of going out for Chinese food for Christmas Eve dinner. Robb's sister and her family took their van and the four of us and Robb's mom went in her Honda CRV. Which meant someone - read, yours truly - got to sit in between the car seat and the booster seat in back. My thought going in? "Oh joy."

But you know what? It actually (surprisingly and amazingly) WAS a joy. There I was, literally crammed in between the boys' safety seats, and Farren asked if he could hold my hand. Then I decided to hold Soren's hand, too, because why not? 

I am not a warm and fuzzy mom, by any means. I don't like babies and am just starting to bond with Soren - and he just turned one. BUT, I definitely love my snuggles, and sitting between my two children, holding their hands and having them hold on to me, was one of the most joyful experiences I have had in a long time. 

Life is hard. In fact, for the last year it has seemed almost impossibly difficult. But these unexpected moments, squished in between one thing and another, are immeasurably precious and I am very grateful for them. 

Merry Christmas everyone. Give your loved ones an extra hug and may you feel a little extra joy, too. 

Bath Time!

ABCs with Ren

Ren started preschool about six weeks ago, and it's been fun (most of the time) watching how he's connecting what he already knew with what he's learning in school. For example, making the connection between letters and the sounds they make and words he knows.

Ren: "Mommy, A, A is for alligator. And Abel. (A classmate.) F, F is for Farren. P, P is for penis."
Me: "Um.....P is for peanuts, that's right."
Ren: "No, P is for penis. And pizza!"

Due to his pronunciation I can only hope that if he pulls this in class his teacher thinks he's saying peanuts. (Yikes!) Here's hoping that at some point I feel teaching him the anatomically correct names for things has a positive side to it!!!

Soren's MRI Results

We got the results back! Here's what the doctor said:

"I know you are anxiously awaiting results of Soren's MRI- so I wanted to email you an update.

It shows that the end of the cord is a bit thickened - not too much, but moderately and there is what they call an incidental cyst (very small). I have sent off the results to our specialist and am waiting to hear if he thinks there should be any follow up to this. He will review the images and let me know and I will of course let you know what he says."

I was just writing her a brief thank you note when I got another e-mail with the notes from the specialist. S/He said:

"I have reviewed the MRI; the filum is mildly thickened at 1.2mm but generally we are not concerned until the filum is 1.5mm or higher. Also he does not have a low lying conus or any fat in the filum. I consider this a negative exam. Also no need to follow up the filar cyst. Hope this helps."

I sent her another e-mail to verify whether or not we need to keep an eye out for any specific symptoms as he grows or if he's basically okay for the rest of his life. She said:

"At this point we would treat Soren just as we would anyone else- no special risk factors."

That sounds pretty positive, so...HOORAY!

One of a Kind

How many 5 month olds do YOU know who have to get a special outfit for an MRI? Not many, I bet. Isn't he beautiful?

Since I'm sure you're wondering, he's got a deep dimple on his bum. That part of the skin develops at the same time as the spinal cord, so he needs an MRI to determine whether or not his spinal cord is tethered. He went through the procedure (including sedation) like a champ, and we are awaiting the results. I'll keep you posted. 

Greet the Day

Ren always climbs into bed with me when he wakes up. A few days ago he climbed in, patted his tummy, and said "Mommy, my tummy is not full of cough drops. I need some!" Um.....right.

Life Through Ren's Eyes

And the artistic version:

Going from one child to two

In summary: It sucks. (But there is light at the end of the tunnel.)

The first six weeks were the hardest (thus far), as we all adjusted to the change in family dynamics and the total lack of sleep. Poor Ren was hit the hardest. No longer the only child, no longer the sole focus of our attention, AND when we did have time we were too tired to do much of anything with him. That kid has watched more TV in the last two months than I have in the last three years, I swear.

In addition, Ren is 3 and, consequently, wanting to "assert" himself. Grrrrrr…… Not fun at any time and especially not when you're sleep deprived. However, we've hit two months and are all doing better. Ren seems to have made the adjustment - or else he's now more accustomed to not as much attention and/or we're actually able to give him more attention because we're not quite as tired. Whatever - it's better. 

In general, I don't have too many good things to say about having children, plural. BUT, today I found a giant positive: I have little to no anxiety about doing stuff that would have pushed me over the mental edge when I had my first child. This is definitely more a function of experience than of multiple kids, but since I couldn't put the experience to use without having multiple kids, I'll take it either way! Today I took both boys to Happy Hollow (park/zoo) by myself, for four hours! And we had a good time!

Going anywhere with Ren always sent me into a panic attack, so I'm very grateful that I currently: a) am enjoying better mental/emotional health, and b) had the experiences I had with Ren, so I can be calm about similar experiences now. As someone who was on an emotional/mental knife edge the first year of my firstborn's life, let me tell you, the second time around is MUCH easier, as far as the anxiety/depression goes. (Halleluia! And, um, switching to a drug that I can take while nursing certainly helps, too.) 

The moral of the story? While I'm not loving every moment of this crazy period of my life, I definitely do see some blessings and I'm very, very grateful for them.

One Month

The first month flew by. Not too surprisingly, everything is seeming to pass MUCH more quickly this time around.

Welcome Baby!

Soren was born on December 11, 2014. He weighed 10 lbs, 2 oz, and was 20 inches long. And he has red hair!!!!! :-D