Let the Fun Conversations Begin!

Ren: Mommy, milk. Mommy, Milk.
(We go in the kitchen to get a cup of milk.)
Ren: Mommy, cake. Mommy, cake!
Me: There's no cake, buddy. We haven't had any cake in the house for a while.
(I lift him up and show him the cake-free stove top and counters. He goes back to drinking his milk.)
A few minutes later...
Me: We need to figure out what to have for dinner. What should we eat?
Ren: Cake!!!

Good Ideas

Well, I've received a number of helpful tips regarding my previous post, so in order to remember them (or at least keep them in a place where I can easily find find and re-read them when I start to forget), here's a summary:

WAYS TO MAINTAIN FRIENDSHIPS WHEN YOU'RE SUPER BUSY

1. Incorporate your family into your friendships. For example...joint family camping trips, play dates, etc.
2. Go do things after the kids go to bed.
3. Plan day time activities maybe twice a month- book club, 5ks, lunches and getting nails done. All of these events make you happier, healthier/sparklier and more thankful when you return home. 
4. Go to lunch or dinner with friends once a month.
5. 1-playgrounds. Most of my friends that don't have kids are okay with us walking to Starbucks and then a playground. Friends with kids we'll do playgrounds, target trips sometimes, and restaurants. 2-With work, I try to not bring anything home except for laptop. 3-Budget for some extra help.
6. Get out on my own a couple times a month...You just have to judge needs and be flexible about how you do things.
7. Balance is a relative term, right? It's more coming to terms that things may not be perfect and that's ok. Play dates with moms/kids are great so you spend time with kids and have time to chat. Mom's night out once a month or so. 
8. I go out with friends a couple times a month. I may only be gone two hours but I am happier when I get home.
9. Play dates are awesome times to chat with friends and then the kids are entertained, too. I try and catch up on work for an hour after baby goes to bed, and then I don't do work on the weekends. Figuring out the balance is definitely tough (especially learning that it's ok if the dishes don't get done one night, etc.) and I'm still working on it!
10. Schedule a night/day of alone time and one of friend time at least once per month. Also have some time that is only family time, with no distractions. Having that specific time where other things can be pushed to the side really helps to feel renewed and able to take on the mundane tasks of life. 
11. I have tried to adopt the outlook that if I don't initiate it, it won't happen (and I'm still not great at it). So, if I want it to happen, I have to initiate it. We have recently started trying to invite a different family over every Sunday night for dinner. Also, I've realized that friendships have seemed to develop at a much slower pace since having kids. If nothing else, maybe this thread helps remind you (and all of us) that we aren't alone even though it feels like it sometimes. 

Friends?

Or, How to Make Friends at Church When 98% of the Women There are Stay at Home Moms and You are Not.

I no longer have friends at church.  I have great friends, just not any church friends, and for whatever reason, this bothers me.  (Okay, I admit it - it's partially all the pictures and posts I see with cute kids and happy moms at play dates or park groups.  I wish I could be there, too, but I just can't!)  That said, I realize the root of the problem is that I work full time and the vast majority of the other women in my congregation who are in my demographic are stay at home moms.  I know at least a few of you out there have experience as working moms, so please feel free to share any advice!

My possible reactions, as I see them:

1.  Forget about them.  Who needs friends at church anyway?
This does not seem particularly aligned with the whole love of Christ thing, however, so I'm guessing this is not my best option.  Besides, I don't like being frustrated all the time.

2.  Move my membership to the Spanish ward.
Previous experience has taught me I'd most likely be in an overall warmer, more friendly environment, but this feels like running away rather than facing my problem.

3.  "Forget myself and go to work."
Fulfill my callings and serve to the best of my capability while tending my existing (non-church) friendships.  Obviously this would help me feel a bit better, but it still doesn't address the whole no-friends-at-church thing.

Friendship requires an investment of time.  I have NO time.  If I'm not at work, working, I'm at home - working.  I'm also coming off six weeks of non-stop calamity.  Seriously, we're talking two weeks of sickness raging through the family, Robb throwing his back out and being unable to move, Ren poking me in the eye with his toothbrush and half-blinding me for a week, and round two of major stomach flu, with Robb still not fully recovered as far as his back is concerned.  And while all that was going on, I'm trying to keep a grip on the housework.  Whether or not it's true, I feel like if I slack off, nothing gets done around here.  (Meaning that even if I don't feel like it, I have to make myself clean in order to get the rest of the crew on board.)  At any rate, you can see I have plenty of time to lavish on growing and nurturing new friendships.

I know I'm not the only working mom who's dealing with this insanity, so please tell me what coping strategies you have in place.  How do you balance interpersonal fulfillment with working full time and your family's needs?

Is this thing on?

Yeah, life has been overwhelming the last little while, but I'm really trying to push back, so here I go.

I started running again.  Shaine and I committed to each other (okay, so it's the third time, but third time's the charm, right?) that we would run (ahem...jog) at least three days a week for eight weeks and then do a 5k.  We're two weeks in and so far, so good.  Week 1 I actually got up early and ran before work, and I felt so fabulous.  Week 2 I was more lazy and ran in the evenings.  Either way, I did it.  Now I just need to keep it up.

Work is insane.  I'm a union rep. and normally it's a very minimal amount of work.  Not so lately.  We're having issues between our administration and the staff, and the poor, beleaguered teachers keep coming to me.  It's heartbreaking, wearing, frustrating, depressing, and is REALLY making me want to work somewhere else.  Not because I don't love my coworkers - I actually really enjoy them - but because the level of miscommunication/misunderstanding between the teachers and the principal is such  that it's really a toxic work environment and I WANT OUT.  I have an interview at the district next Monday and then (if they approve of me) will be able to interview at various sites for Instructional Coach positions.  (I would coach teachers and help them improve their practice.)  I'm also wondering if I shouldn't look for work in SoCal, mostly because my brother is on the job hunt as well, and if he and his family get a job elsewhere and vacate my parent's house, we could live nearly rent free (and thus be able to save up money for a change.)  It's a thought.

Robb is surviving grad school and he's got about 1 year left.  (Halleluia!)

Farren is growing like crazy - and growing TEETH like crazy.  I'm starting to wonder if he's not part shark.  He's learning how to run (joy!) and decided last week that he's tired of being earthbound.  (It's not fun to be working on dinner in the kitchen and turn around only to see your toddler standing up on top of the dinner table.)  In two months he gets to go to nursery (YEAH!!!!!)

So there you have it - a very brief update on our family!