Blessed

We live in an old house that has settled unevenly over the years. As a result, some windows and doors stick while others are difficult to keep shut. I was pushing open a window tonight to let in the cool breeze when the window shattered. I am very, VERY grateful to have walked away with nothing more than a few scrapes. 

Soren vs. Plums

Today Soren is eating a plum for the first time. (He's picky, and I don't want to waste my delicious plums on the kid who won't eat them!) He's had some funny observations:

• Mommy, it has a butt.
• Mommy, there's drink (juice) coming out of the butt!
• Mommy, I need a dry shirt (aka plums are messy.)

I'm super happy that he's eating a new food, but the commentary is definitely an added bonus. 😀

I'm So Hot!

Today looked like this:

• Wake up (over the course of an hour or so).
• Clean up stuff for a yard sale.
• Be outside for 3 hours at said yard sale, in 95+ degree weather on a day with a UV index of 9/10.
• Get really hot.
• Bypass lunch and just take a long nap while Soren naps.
• Realize I got a little sunburned outside.
• Talk with my husband about dinner and decide to eat out because it's so hot neither of you feels like cooking.
• Take the kids to Chick-fil-a for an hour or so. Enjoy the A/C and the indoor playground.
• Decide that since I skipped lunch I deserve some ice cream.
• Visit the Grocery Outlet across the parking lot from Chick-fil-a.
• Discover you have a really good problem.
• Bring the following home:

My Saturday night totally looks better than yours. Don't deny it! ;-)

Things Ren Says, part 2

Mommy, my toots are hot.
Why are my toots hot?
I think I'm afraid of toots.

Thanks for the Reminder

Apparently, ten days of sinus congestion and cough and other symptoms are enough to get a doctor to prescribe antibiotics. I'm really hoping they help!

So I'm still sick, but I feel bad keeping the boys inside all the time, especially since this week is our winter break. I've been trying to get us out of the house for at least one hour a day the last few days. Today I decided we would go on a walk. I managed to fit Ren's bike in the front seat of my car (I seriously should have taken a picture of our contortions), and we set off for the Los Gatos Creek trail.

It was a BEAUTIFUL day, and I really wish I had taken pictures. Ren had a blast and Soren and I chugged along after him. I think we went about three miles. I had to keep reminding Ren to stay on the right side of the trail (this is a heavily biked/walked path), and I'm somewhat amazed no one ran into him, given his erratic driving. :-) We stopped at Campbell Park and played for a while and as soon as we did my body said: "HEY! You're SICK!!!" Basically I turned into a big ball of mucus and phlegm. (Is that redundant?)

I called Robb to come rescue us and we ended up driving up to the Lexington spillway to check out the water flow and then I told Robb he deserved a delicious lunch since he got pulled away from his resume and portfolio building time. Tu Mero Mole treated us well, as always, but by the end of our lunch I was dying. BOTH ears were plugged (as opposed to the one I've been dealing with for the last five days), my stomach was upset, I had a fever, my nose and throat were going nuts, and my blood sugar was crazy. By the time we got home I crashed, and stayed that way for at least four hours.

I feel somewhat better now, but I think back to what my neighbor said when she saw us head outside this morning. She took one look at me and out popped: "Do you have to go right now?" Yes, it was beautiful, and yes, the boys had fun, but I'm still trying to decide if the time outdoors was worth it!

Things Ren Says

While drawing: "I'm making a heart sun, because it's a lovely afternoon."

While praying: "Please bless Soren to be NICE and share his toys!"

While playing: "Your belly button toots marshmallows!"

At Least He Washes His Hands with Soap

Ren walks out of the bathroom after being in there for a bit.
Me: Did you poop?
Ren: (Dirty look) Ugh!
(Walks in the bathroom to wipe and wash his hands.)
Ren: Mommy, you just found out my secret: that I don't like to wipe my bum.
Me: It's not really a secret, dude. I've known this for a while.

Oh the joys of raising little boys!

Personality, as explained by Ren

(Preface: When we are in the car I do not allow Ren to roll down the window if we are on the freeway, because the noise bugs me in a major way.)

Driving home tonight from dinner at a friend's house:

Ren: Mommy, why don't you like the wind noise?
Me: Because it makes my ears hurt and that makes my head hurt, so I don't like it.
Ren: No, it's because of your personality. Your personality doesn't like the wind noise.
Me: Oh, really???
Ren: Yes. Your personality is in your head. It's these meat colored ropes that aren't meat, they're just meat colored. And they go around your brain. Usually they're all rolled up, like in a ball, and that's your brain. But when the windows are open and there's a lot of noise they come down like ropes. Like meat colored ropes, and they go shooting through your body like knives.
Me: Woah. I had NO idea that's what my personality was.
Ren: Yeah, but I can see it.
Me: You can see my personality?
Ren: Yeah.
Me: And it's a bunch of meat colored ropes in my head?
Ren: No, right now it's rainbow colored. But not a real rainbow.
Me: Just rainbow colored, right?
Ren: Yeah.
Me: Well, that sounds kinda pretty. I'll go with that!

And then there was something about how my personality was going to go down into the roots of the trees and kill all the seeds of the trees in the city, but I didn't catch all the details because I was trying to parallel park. If it comes up again I'll pay more attention so I can share with you next time. :-)

From a Friend in Primary

I wanted to tell you the funniest thing Farren said today in sharing time. Beckie asked if anyone knew what the word suffering meant, and he raised his hand and said, "It's when my mom doesn't let me do something, I suffer." We thought it highly amusing. 

Are you sure this is the BASIC version???

My lovely, fabulous, thoughtful, and totally uplifting friend Luz has been asking if she could babysit the boys. Of course I told her YES and that she was welcome to watch them as soon as she liked. So tonight she took the kiddos and Robb and I explored the area around Luz's home in east San Jose.

First up, dinner. We drove around for a bit but, due to the time requirements of our plan for the second step of our date, we were limited to fast food. So we went to Jollibee - a Filipino fast food chain. The food was basic, but good, and the Filipino bakery next door had Ube cake, which was delicious and made the visit more than worthwhile.

Second half of the date? Reflexology massages. Luz has been raving about her favorite reflexology place (Lucky Feet) for the last three years. Since we dropped the boys off at her house, we decided to go for it. Now, let me say that both Robb and I have been to reflexology places before. HOWEVER, tonight was a totally new experience. At various points during our massages we had the (dubious) pleasure of experiencing the following:

• being straddled, multiple times
• getting a butt massage while being straddled ("Um...I don't think I paid for this.....")
• being asked to go shirtless in the communal room (Robb) 
• having my bra unhooked and moved out of the way by my male masseuse  (Say what???)
• having my bra put back together (Why thank you, sir!)
• getting skin on skin back massages (All our prior reflexology experiences have been 100% clothes ON. Let me tell ya, I was a little worried about how high up my sides those hands were going to go.)
• having our backs massaged via crawling on them/using the knees to massage
• having the masseuse use her knees and thighs to massage the back (Robb: "Wait. Is that a pubic bone I feel?!?")
• and above all else, super, near-insanely INTENSE pressure.

I'm pretty sure this was the most painful massage I've ever had. About 75% of it was acceptable to really good, but about 25% just hurt. HOWEVER, it was most definitely a good story, so we're both pretty happy to laugh about our evening. (Not to mention committed to finding a new reflexology place to try out.) :-)

More than Mortal

I sang for a funeral tonight. I've done this often and I am always happy to offer this service because my faith in Heavenly Father's plan gives me peace and hope regarding life after death. Tonight I sang for the family and friends of a lovely 90 year old lady named Concepción Peña. 

I was barely acquainted with her, to be honest. To be more honest, I was happy to sing but increasingly frustrated as the week went on because there were no clear lines of communication and I was getting frequent texts from three different people to get information on the song title, accompanist, etc. These texts and calls, on top of my work load and during an emotionally draining week, really pushed a lot of buttons. 

And then I went to the funeral. I heard her daughters share their memories, stories, and love for their mother. I learned more about her life and felt the great love she had for her family and they for her. 

I sang "I Am a Child of God" and, a couple hours before the funeral, talked a friend into singing with me so we could get some harmony and make it more interesting. We decided that on the second verse I would sing alone, in Spanish. After listening to everyone's words I changed the lyrics a tiny bit:

Soy una hija de Dios, 

El me envió aquí. 

Me ha dado un hogar 

Y Familia buena para mi. 

Guíenme, enseñame la senda a seguir,

Para que algun día yo

Con él pueda vivir. 

(I am a daughter of God,

He has sent me here. 

He has given me a home 

And a great family. 

Guide me, show me the way to go,

So that one day I can live with him.)

I was trying to say what Concepción would have said if she were still with us. As I sang I could feel her family's love, her love, and I felt like I briefly touched our Heavenly Father's and our Savior's love for each of us. 

When I said it's been an emotionally draining week that's a major understatement. I won't go into details, but I will say that I am so grateful I was able to sing at Sister Peña's funeral. It was a huge blessing to me, right when I really, really needed it.

 

We are more than mortal. We are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us, knows us, and is very aware of our needs. I'm grateful to have felt His love today, and I hope you feel it in your day, too. 

Sweet Surprise

Apparently there was a lot of audience participation today in Sharing Time. I was told the kids were called up and asked to share their name and what they like. (You know: "My name is Ben and I like to play video games.") The primary pianist found me after church to tell me about Farren's comments.  I was a tad nervous to hear her report, because Ren typically acts silly and uses little boy (i.e. bathroom) humor to be funny when he's in front of people, but according to my friend, he said "My name is Farren and I like to give my mommy hugs and kisses."

I think this mommy's heart just grew three sizes bigger!

Joy in Unexpected Places

Robb and I feel very blessed that we truly enjoy each other's families. For Christmas we are in Utah with his mom and his sister (and her family), and we're having an awesome time visiting, playing (especially Ren, who adores his cousins), laughing, and generally making lots of good memories. 

We flew in (which, when you have a baby, no stroller - oops! - a husband with a severe back injury, and way too many carry on and personal items, is a story all on its own) and didn't rent a car. Not a big deal, since we're staying at Robb's sister's house and have done few things that require all five adults and five children to go somewhere at the same time. Tonight, however, we upheld the Thurmond family tradition of going out for Chinese food for Christmas Eve dinner. Robb's sister and her family took their van and the four of us and Robb's mom went in her Honda CRV. Which meant someone - read, yours truly - got to sit in between the car seat and the booster seat in back. My thought going in? "Oh joy."

But you know what? It actually (surprisingly and amazingly) WAS a joy. There I was, literally crammed in between the boys' safety seats, and Farren asked if he could hold my hand. Then I decided to hold Soren's hand, too, because why not? 

I am not a warm and fuzzy mom, by any means. I don't like babies and am just starting to bond with Soren - and he just turned one. BUT, I definitely love my snuggles, and sitting between my two children, holding their hands and having them hold on to me, was one of the most joyful experiences I have had in a long time. 

Life is hard. In fact, for the last year it has seemed almost impossibly difficult. But these unexpected moments, squished in between one thing and another, are immeasurably precious and I am very grateful for them. 

Merry Christmas everyone. Give your loved ones an extra hug and may you feel a little extra joy, too. 

Bath Time!

ABCs with Ren

Ren started preschool about six weeks ago, and it's been fun (most of the time) watching how he's connecting what he already knew with what he's learning in school. For example, making the connection between letters and the sounds they make and words he knows.

Ren: "Mommy, A, A is for alligator. And Abel. (A classmate.) F, F is for Farren. P, P is for penis."
Me: "Um.....P is for peanuts, that's right."
Ren: "No, P is for penis. And pizza!"

Due to his pronunciation I can only hope that if he pulls this in class his teacher thinks he's saying peanuts. (Yikes!) Here's hoping that at some point I feel teaching him the anatomically correct names for things has a positive side to it!!!

Soren's MRI Results

We got the results back! Here's what the doctor said:

"I know you are anxiously awaiting results of Soren's MRI- so I wanted to email you an update.

It shows that the end of the cord is a bit thickened - not too much, but moderately and there is what they call an incidental cyst (very small). I have sent off the results to our specialist and am waiting to hear if he thinks there should be any follow up to this. He will review the images and let me know and I will of course let you know what he says."

I was just writing her a brief thank you note when I got another e-mail with the notes from the specialist. S/He said:

"I have reviewed the MRI; the filum is mildly thickened at 1.2mm but generally we are not concerned until the filum is 1.5mm or higher. Also he does not have a low lying conus or any fat in the filum. I consider this a negative exam. Also no need to follow up the filar cyst. Hope this helps."

I sent her another e-mail to verify whether or not we need to keep an eye out for any specific symptoms as he grows or if he's basically okay for the rest of his life. She said:

"At this point we would treat Soren just as we would anyone else- no special risk factors."

That sounds pretty positive, so...HOORAY!

One of a Kind

How many 5 month olds do YOU know who have to get a special outfit for an MRI? Not many, I bet. Isn't he beautiful?

Since I'm sure you're wondering, he's got a deep dimple on his bum. That part of the skin develops at the same time as the spinal cord, so he needs an MRI to determine whether or not his spinal cord is tethered. He went through the procedure (including sedation) like a champ, and we are awaiting the results. I'll keep you posted. 

Greet the Day

Ren always climbs into bed with me when he wakes up. A few days ago he climbed in, patted his tummy, and said "Mommy, my tummy is not full of cough drops. I need some!" Um.....right.

Life Through Ren's Eyes

And the artistic version:

Going from one child to two

In summary: It sucks. (But there is light at the end of the tunnel.)

The first six weeks were the hardest (thus far), as we all adjusted to the change in family dynamics and the total lack of sleep. Poor Ren was hit the hardest. No longer the only child, no longer the sole focus of our attention, AND when we did have time we were too tired to do much of anything with him. That kid has watched more TV in the last two months than I have in the last three years, I swear.

In addition, Ren is 3 and, consequently, wanting to "assert" himself. Grrrrrr…… Not fun at any time and especially not when you're sleep deprived. However, we've hit two months and are all doing better. Ren seems to have made the adjustment - or else he's now more accustomed to not as much attention and/or we're actually able to give him more attention because we're not quite as tired. Whatever - it's better. 

In general, I don't have too many good things to say about having children, plural. BUT, today I found a giant positive: I have little to no anxiety about doing stuff that would have pushed me over the mental edge when I had my first child. This is definitely more a function of experience than of multiple kids, but since I couldn't put the experience to use without having multiple kids, I'll take it either way! Today I took both boys to Happy Hollow (park/zoo) by myself, for four hours! And we had a good time!

Going anywhere with Ren always sent me into a panic attack, so I'm very grateful that I currently: a) am enjoying better mental/emotional health, and b) had the experiences I had with Ren, so I can be calm about similar experiences now. As someone who was on an emotional/mental knife edge the first year of my firstborn's life, let me tell you, the second time around is MUCH easier, as far as the anxiety/depression goes. (Halleluia! And, um, switching to a drug that I can take while nursing certainly helps, too.) 

The moral of the story? While I'm not loving every moment of this crazy period of my life, I definitely do see some blessings and I'm very, very grateful for them.